I am officially unemployed for the second work day in a row. I had a small meltdown yesterday. That was unexpected.
I thought more people from work would email me to check-in. This morning I got one email from a former co-worker. It was in the style of Where’d you go, Bernadette? (Ever read that book?) I appreciated it.
I ended up applying to four more jobs yesterday. Nothing I’m too excited to do, but I had to do something with my hands and thoughts and that was the most harmless thing I could think of.
Yesterday, I opened a checking account and took a short 15 minute walk outside. That made me feel like I accomplished something and helped to calm me down a bit.
So I tried to talk myself into doing something today. And it worked! I woke up (without an alarm) around 8:45a and realized if I got out of bed I would make it just in time for a Meetup group that was going paddleboarding. Fortunately for me, I had written the details out last night so there would be no barrier to me leaving the house if the mood hit me. It did!
I went paddleboarding! It was as simple as it looked on TV. You sit (or stand) on this hard plexiglass epoxy board and paddle. That’s it. And then 2 hours passed. I don’t generally understand repetitive sports like these, but it was nice to get out of the house.
I even talked to people! A white-man asked me if I’d ever taken a college class and how much my rent was, so that’s always cool.
My good-for-a-chat friend found out I quit my job. It was so much easier to tell the strangers from Meetup than someone I actually know. Less questions. I don’t know if I really wanted to tell her but it was nice to tell someone. I felt unburdened somehow. But I feel like I have to craft a narrative first to field questions before I tell anymore people…including my family. For you see, this early career break is both something I’ve been planning and something that I did suddenly. I have a plan and enough savings…and I don’t. It’s all very confusing.