I am day 5 post op and the blog post of just how I ordered a hysterectomy online just won’t leave me. After some recent GI achievements, I feel a bit rejuvenated. That combined with the fact that I can finally sit up for more than a few minutes without nausea makes this is a great moment in a week of general feelings of malaise.
How Did I Order a Hysterectomy Online?
Google of course. I was fed up with the tumultuous history I had with my uterus so I went to the internet. I had heard over the course of my life second hand stories of people going to this country or the other for various operations (implants, some new diet fad mostly from fictional tv shows, stomach stapling) and prescription medicine. Due to some great search engine optimization, a surgery center in Maryland popped up first. I submitted an online query form one Saturday or Sunday. By Monday, they called me and scheduled a phone consultation with a surgeon the following week. After the brief consultation, the surgery scheduler called and scheduled me for the next available Monday. Kismet or not, it was the day after my birthday and I already had scheduled the week off from work for some relaxation. What’s more relaxing than the thought of a pain-free, menstrual free existence?
How Did I Get To This Place?
Over the last 20 years, I have inquired of one doctor or the other about options to control my heavy menses and pain. I had tried 2 oral contraceptives, an IUD with ridiculous adverse events, and various forms of hygiene products with varying success. My current OB/GYN suggested a trial of tranexamic acid which consisted of 15 pills over 5 days every month FOREVER and would only decrease blood loss. To me that was a heavy pill burden to only solve part of the problem. After which, the next step would be endometrial ablation. Hard pass.
How Does this Help Save for Early Retirement?
In my teens and 20s, I was mostly in school, so staining things, staying behind and missing a social event or a class was annoying but not costly. Now that I’m working, my time is valuated. More importantly unused PTO (paid time off) can be sold back to the company at your current rate. At my current rate, with an average of 3 missed days every 3 months due to symptoms, or about one day a month, that’s 12 days a year. $45/hr x 8 hrs/mon x 12 mon/yr = $4320/ yr that’s costing me. Average age of menopause for women in my family = 50. $4320 x 16 years to go = $69,120 at my current salary with no accounting for inflation, raises, or compound interest.
I haven’t gotten my bill yet, but on the face of it, the projected savings is my annual budget for 2 years now living in formaldehyde. Thank you God. Thank you science. Thank you health insurance.