Got another rejection today. Well technically, it’s a rejection I already knew was coming, so I’ve already partially experienced it. Getting the email didn’t make it sting any less, however. In fact just yesterday, I applied to four more jobs at the same company. I like to torture myself. Although a feel-good article I read says that hanging in there means I’m made from tough stuff. Yeah right. It mostly just feels bad, and I hope to water down the rejection with more rejection so the one that hurts the most is hard to identify.
For you bloggers out there, have you noticed once you started blogging the stuff you read on the internet holds less significance. For me, it’s like now I know the blogger posting that “how-to” is probably some rando experiencing a streak of good luck and now wants to share The Exact Way To Achieve Their Outcome.
No shame. Just saying.
My latest escapade in trying to figure out how to un”stuck” myself from my current life sich is an article from Frugalwoods. In it, she advises to write your current bio and then your dream bio. Be sure to enumerate “everything that your life encompasses: your work, your volunteer commitments, your family, your partner/children, your pets, your finances, your hobbies, perhaps your fitness level if that’s relevant to your goals.”
I’m a sucker for a quick fix. So I tried it. The comparison would be easier in a chart, but a wordy chart does not render well in WordPress. So I opted for the format below (mostly stream of consciousness).
Current Bio: Call center. Educator. HR assistant.
Dream Bio: Daytime actress. Seasonal romance writer. Author of the Greatest Love Story Ever Told. Community Activist. World changer. Social Justice Activist. Novelist. Romance writer.
Current Bio: Zilch
Dream Bio: Reading to kids. Providing free healthcare (as in I’m also a doctor). Disaster relief. Immigration help. Teach ESL.
Current Bio: OK. They exist.
Dream Bio: Urban tribe of supportive people with lives I aspire to.
Current Bio: Watching TV.
Dream Bio: I got nothing.
Current Bio: OK
Dream Bio: Financially independent. Not worrying about money.
Current Bio: Who dat?
Dream Bio: A burning love who waits for me; seasonal affection.
Current Bio: Sedentary
Dream Bio: Active. Nature walks. Nothing in a gym. Maybe gymnastics, swimming, tennis, parkour…
- What opportunities do you have to bring the two into alignment? Errrr….
- What do you need to do with your time, your money, your motivation, and your work flow in order to put yourself on track to make your dream bio your actual bio? Errr…
But see I’ve done exercises like this before. Pick out the common theme. What are you better at than most people? What do your close contacts see in you? Because of exercises just like this one, I tried saving the world. I became a teacher and I was spectacularly bad in the classroom. I used to volunteer a lot when I was younger. I never felt anything. I’m already in a health profession, yes, not a doctor but after all the effort it takes to become a doctor, I don’t think I’d work for free. I would do it for the prestige. I wrote a book (or two). I actively tried to have a “love worth dying for” just for the experience. I was on TV once or twice (as an extra). I worked on a movie set. I’ve been to a few continents. I’ve had these great-at-the-time singular experiences that have yet to culminate to anything.
But is that all I’m supposed to be doing? When one thing starts to lose its interest or significance, just move on to the next thing? Am I even dreaming big enough? Or am I already too confined by what I believe is probably possible? I know I don’t have a sucky life. I know this. Yes, I’m grateful. [Religion alert… in 3, 2, 1…] Here’s the thing. I choose to believe in God so I choose to believe He has blessed me. I am open to the idea that my life with God in it is probably better than if I were to journey alone, but I am less open to the idea that this is the best my life will ever be.
So dear reader, any insight? I’m sure many of you are out there living your #bestlife. So help a single girl out!