2019 About me

Dream Bio vs Current Bio: How I Still Don’t Know What To Do With My Life

Got another rejection today. Well technically, it’s a rejection I already knew was coming, so I’ve already partially experienced it. Getting the email didn’t make it sting any less, however. In fact just yesterday, I applied to four more jobs at the same company. I like to torture myself. Although a feel-good article I read says that hanging in there means I’m made from tough stuff. Yeah right. It mostly just feels bad, and I hope to water down the rejection with more rejection so the one that hurts the most is hard to identify.

For you bloggers out there, have you noticed once you started blogging the stuff you read on the internet holds less significance. For me, it’s like now I know the blogger posting that “how-to” is probably some rando experiencing a streak of good luck and now wants to share The Exact Way To Achieve Their Outcome.

No shame. Just saying.

My latest escapade in trying to figure out how to un”stuck” myself from my current life sich is an article from Frugalwoods. In it, she advises to write your current bio and then your dream bio. Be sure to enumerate “everything that your life encompasses: your work, your volunteer commitments, your family, your partner/children, your pets, your finances, your hobbies, perhaps your fitness level if that’s relevant to your goals.”

I’m a sucker for a quick fix. So I tried it. The comparison would be easier in a chart, but a wordy chart does not render well in WordPress. So I opted for the format below (mostly stream of consciousness).

Job

Current Bio: Call center. Educator. HR assistant.

Dream Bio: Daytime actress. Seasonal romance writer. Author of the Greatest Love Story Ever Told. Community Activist. World changer. Social Justice Activist. Novelist. Romance writer.

Volunteer work

Current Bio: Zilch
Dream Bio: Reading to kids. Providing free healthcare (as in I’m also a doctor). Disaster relief. Immigration help. Teach ESL.

Family

Current Bio: OK. They exist.
Dream Bio: Urban tribe of supportive people with lives I aspire to.

Hobbies

Current Bio: Watching TV.

Dream Bio: I got nothing.

Finances

Current Bio: OK
Dream Bio: Financially independent. Not worrying about money.

Friends

Current Bio: Who dat?
Dream Bio: A burning love who waits for me; seasonal affection.

Fitness

Current Bio: Sedentary
Dream Bio: Active. Nature walks. Nothing in a gym. Maybe gymnastics, swimming, tennis, parkour…

Now what?

  • What opportunities do you have to bring the two into alignment? Errrr….
  • What do you need to do with your time, your money, your motivation, and your work flow in order to put yourself on track to make your dream bio your actual bio? Errr…

But see I’ve done exercises like this before. Pick out the common theme. What are you better at than most people? What do your close contacts see in you? Because of exercises just like this one, I tried saving the world. I became a teacher and I was spectacularly bad in the classroom.  I used to volunteer a lot when I was younger. I never felt anything. I’m already in a health profession, yes, not a doctor but after all the effort it takes to become a doctor, I don’t think I’d work for free. I would do it for the prestige. I wrote a book (or two). I actively tried to have a “love worth dying for” just for the experience. I was on TV once or twice (as an extra). I worked on a movie set. I’ve been to a few continents.  I’ve had these great-at-the-time singular experiences that have yet to culminate to anything.

But is that all I’m supposed to be doing? When one thing starts to lose its interest or significance, just move on to the next thing? Am I even dreaming big enough? Or am I already too confined by what I believe is probably possible?  I know I don’t have a sucky life. I know this. Yes, I’m grateful. [Religion alert… in 3, 2, 1…] Here’s the thing. I choose to believe in God so I choose to believe He has blessed me. I am open to the idea that my life with God in it is probably better than if I were to journey alone, but I am less open to the idea that this is the best my life will ever be.

Read More: 

How Design-Thinking Can Inspire Your Early Retirement Journey

How To Stay Motivated Your 1st Month Blogging

So dear reader, any insight? I’m sure many of you are out there living your #bestlife. So help a single girl out! 

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2 Comments

  1. Hi, I arrived at your blog via Financial Samurai (I think) and find it quite charming. You are funny and honest in a refreshing way. (btw, I tried subscribing to your blog and it gave me an error, twice). I am not a single girl and I’m closer to the age of your aunt (very sweet of you to try to repay her for her care of you in the past) but I can relate to much of what you deal with, as you make it relatable. My suggestion to you since you mention writing romance is to try writing a YA romance novel about an immigrant girl from South Africa–this subject is very pertinent right now, SA is a country about which most Americans don’t know that much but are intrigued by, and you obviously are a natural writer with a sense of humor that would be perfect for a YA novel. College age kids read YA all the time now and many of the latest films are based on YA novels. (The Sun is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon, All the fault in our stars by John Green, etc. etc. ) Just be sure to have the word “star” in the title somewhere, ha, ha! Anyway, to answer your question about insights, it sounds to me like you are trying too hard on all fronts and scattering your energy. Concentrate on the one aspect of your life that you care about the most. Once you achieve that, others aspects have a way of falling into place. (not always, but there are no guarantees in life) For me, it was finding a partner and best friend. I realized what made me happiest in my childhood was having a best friend. So I made a deal with the forces of the universe (or God if you will)–I communicated to them/it that I would not accept anything less than the best person for me and I was willing to wait as long as it took. It didn’t take long once I threw all my passion into that. It was almost uncanny. I didn’t ask for anything else, just that. But I have received almost everything I ever wanted along the way by the grace of that one wish being granted. I hope that grace will fall upon you–you sound like someone who really deserves it.

    1. Beatriz,
      I love everything about this post. I wish readers could know how much a comment like this means to a girl like me. Oy. I LITERALLY just finished reading The Sun is Also a Star…I mean like 30 minutes ago. I finished it in about day…slow work day. As I was reading it, I was so sure she plagiarized my brain. It sounded exactly like something I would write/have written. Even the little histories/bios of side characters. I wrote a YA novel in my twenties shortly after college, so you got that part right! I had so many more thoughts then! As you can see it didn’t get very far. 😛

      What you said about “trying too hard on all fronts and scattering your energy” is something I’ll have to mull on a little bit longer.
      Thanks for pointing out the subscription error; I’ll have to try some dummy emails.

      So today on the way home from work I was thinking I can’t wish/pray for anything else because it hasn’t worked out exactly the way I wanted in the past. I’ll get the thing but the matching emotion doesn’t accompany it. Hmmm.. I am really glad you found your person and your wish came true. I hope you write about it on your blog, so I can learn more about you. I don’t know what else to wish for (my life has been mostly good when I remember to think so)!
      Have a good day!

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