What’s surprising to me is how eventhough I have the same thoughts every Monday they still present themselves as new. And I still react to them as though it’s the first time I’ve encountered them. I’m still just as distressed and sad and bewildered and lost and upset- all the feels- every Monday morning. Why is this is my life? I know I eventually get over it. I know the questions are rhetorical. And worst of all I know how far away my FIRE date is!
Sometimes it helps to unburden myself of my thoughts by expressing them, even virtually into the void. I hope too just by looking at this from time to time I can realize how regular and ridiculous these thoughts are and continue to keep swimming.
Without further ado, here are my thoughts on repeat in my mental playlist every Monday.
#1 I don’t want to go work today.
#2 I’d rather be dead.
#3 I don’t want to be a non-white man in America anymore.
#4 Can I call in sick?
#5 I’m quitting in 2 weeks.
#6 I should give it all up and move to Europe.
#7 I should give it all up and be a lady of leisure for an indeterminate amount of time. To heck with personal finance goals!
#8 Why was I born?
#9 Why did my parents have me if they can’t provide for me (a life of leisure)?
#10 How do people do this everyday? For 30+ years?