Hey there! In case you are new to My Early Retirement Journey, one of my favorite pastimes is watching TV and eating yummy snacks or takeout. I have an incredible amount of time to do so given I’m single and only work one job. I have even left a night out to watch a Lifetime movie premiere. Yeah, I’m that girl.
So to all the TV writers and network producers who I know are avid readers of my blog, here are some consumer insights. Please do better next season. So with the long-awaited Fall Season coming soon, here are some overdone tropes, clips and scenes I hope I don’t see.
Things I Wish They’d Stop Showing on TV
- Nudity. We get it people have boobs.
- Too much sexy time. See above.
- Toilet scenes. Can we get out of the bathroom, people? Or at least close the lid. Nasty. I mean most binge watches are accompanied by binge-eating; the last thing I want to see is a crusty open toilet bowl. Show some respect.
- Vomit. No explanation needed.
- Drunken vomiting. See above.
- Married women coming out in their 40s.
- Married men coming out in their 60s.
- Interracial couples exploring their cultural differences. We get it, people are different.
- Ethnic shows that play like a documentary (I’m talking to you blackish, Fresh off the Boat). Is this a PSA?
- Shows that vote people off the island based on perceived differences or superficial similarities. (Bro 1: There’s something about you I really trust. Bro 2: Yeah, bro.) Real people, not reality TV stars, are actually trying to bring this idea into the workplace. Want to know who’s going to get voted off next or win the next season, click here. Not cool, CBS, not cool.
- Making drugs look cool. Stop doing that. Just say no. Nancy Reagan said so.
- The sexual liberation of women. We get it women like to do it…too. Everybody put their clothes back on and head out of the bedroom, bathroom (again with the bathroom), boardroom, or cliched “kinky” place.
- True crime stories of husbands stabbing their wives and hiding their bodies. This isn’t Church of England. Divorce is still an option.
- True crime stories of 14-year old girls and single moms getting snatched. We get it, someone didn’t love you. I’m talking to you See No Evil, Web of Lies, Forensic Files.
That’s all for now. So execs and writers, if you want to keep your new show from being cancelled and replaced by a revival of an old show (see Gilmore Girls, Murphy Brown, Will and Grace, Roseanne), stop cussing, sexing, and doing drugs. Duh. Be funny, be dramatic, be reverent. Let beautiful people fall in love with a secret love (the “other” girl in glasses) not too far off in a distance. Have you not seen the turnout for the Royal Wedding. Base all TV shows on that and all will be well!